Have you ever felt like you were living the American dream? I did. Have you ever felt as if the rug had been snatched right out from under you? I did, too. Did you feel as if God had abandoned you? Me, too. Did you find yourself questioning if God were even real? Ashamedly, I wondered that, too.
Raymond and I were married at a young age. We had such big dreams and high expectations. I held on to the “white picket fence” dream while he held on to the “being successful” dream. We felt unstoppable. Of course, neither of us really had a clue how it was all going to take place; we just believed that it would. And for a while, it was as if we were living the American dream. We had two beautiful little girls, the best dog anyone could ask for, and a sweet little home. Raymond had a job that paid fairly well, and I was a homemaker. Everything seemed, well, pretty close to perfect!
While everything seemed to appear perfect on the outside, it was the inside that was suffering greatly. Somewhere along the way, we had forgotten God. We had professed to be Christians, but truthfully, it was only in word. We had left Him out of our thoughts and our plans. And then change came. Raymond had gotten injured at work. Life as we knew it was about to end.
This would be where our faith, if we even had any, was going to be tested. One painful afternoon, I found myself crumbled on the floor in our bedroom. How had we gotten to this place? How had all of our dreams and expectations come to this? We were supposed to be different. We were supposed to be unique. And we were certainly supposed to beat the odds! We started asking and even blaming God. “Lord, why did You allow this happen? What did we do to deserve this?” We had placed Him in the hot seat.
That was the beginning of A Joyful Journey and a Tattered Faith. We had lived a life of relying solely on ourselves. We didn’t know what it was like to depend on God; to rely on Him to get us through any situation. Truthfully, we didn’t know Him. We just knew of Him. The Lord has taken us separately, as well as together, by the hand and walked us through some very trying times. Times to where we wondered if He really did exist. Even times of wondering, that if He was indeed real, did He care.
This journey has been worth every step. God is a personal God. He loves us beyond our understanding. He has a plan for us, and it is a good one! He wants to give us a hope and a future. He wants to prosper us and not harm us. More than anything, He wants us to live with Him forever.